Eragon, Murtagh, and their Goofy Adventures
by Dragon Rider of Alagaesia
Summary: Join Eragon, Murtagh, Arya, Galby, Roran, and the rest of the Inheritance Series character's as they eat caffienated peanut butter, face the modern world of today, and have the stories of Alagaesia....their way! Basically a comedy....with randomness!
1. ipod Fanatics

Chapter: ipod Fanatics

Girl opens her book and looks away dreaming up yet another adventure

Girl: AWWWWW!!!!! That ending was so sweet!!!

A boy walks in carrying a smirk across his face

Girl: What do you want you punk?!?

Boy: Well first of all I Don't want anything….and second, the only punk here is you!

Girl: You jerk!

Boy: Whatever….Hey! What story about santa and his elves are you reading today?

Girl: You are SO immature…..the elves I'm reading about have nothing whatsoever to do with santa….there's even one that is a dragon rider…..a protector of justice!

Boy: tries not to look interested and picks up the book

Boy: Oh yeah? What else?!?

The girl contains a sly smile

Girl: Lots! Now sit down and I'll tell you more.

They both sit down and look at the pages of the "Inheritance Series" books

Meanwhile back in the upside down world of Alagaesia we have our poor pathetic hero struggling over his toughest mission yet

Eragon: AHH!! Almost THERE!

Stretches trying to reach a bottle of peanut butter on the top shelf

Finally gives up and falls to the floor utterly spent

Murtagh strides in with Roran and Arya

Murtagh: HA! You can't even reach a jar of PEANUT BUTTER! ….no wonder you couldn't defeat Galbatorix….

Eragon: Hey! I would have won if he hadn't gotten out that feather and tickled me to my doom!...it was an unfair fight…..and he owes me a new can of silly string…..

Murtagh: You used up ALL of your silly string on JUST one fight?!?...you're even more pathetic than I thought

Eragon: Hmph!

Arya: Would you two get along for once! I'm TRYING to listen on my ipod.

All three stare in astonishment at her

Three: What's that????

Arya: Ugh, do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you?! An ipod is a magical object that only the most fashionable of people use….which doesn't include the likes of YOU! Angela gave it to me as an early Christmas present and said it was from a strange foreign world…..

Arya presses a button and shoves a headset into their ears

Roran: gasps Wow!

Murtagh: Amazing…just simply amazing!!!

Eragon: stares stupidly mmm…..I like the prettiful colors…..ooooh…..shiny silver!!

Arya: Weeell? What do you think?

All three: We want an ipod too!!!

Arya: I already told you ONLY the cool people get them…like elves

Eragon: But…..but…..I look like an elf

Arya: Weeell…..I guess your right.

Murtagh: Hey! If my little brother gets a shiny new ipod then so do I!

Roran: Yeah! And I want one too!

Arya: Okay, Okay, you can all come with me to get ipods….but please don't try to bring attention to yourselves….this is a very intellectual world we are going to as I've heard.

Roran: Anybody want some popsicles leftover from Galby's Thanksgiving party??

Arya: HE invited YOU to his party?

Roran: Of course! ONLY the most important of people are invited!

Arya: But……I…….wasn't invited…….sniffles

Eragon: grabs a popsicle and bites in chugging down huge amounts of ice and whatever else gets in his way

Murtagh: I don't remember Galby having popsicles. Where did you get those?

Roran: Oh don't be a silly head Murtagh! I made them from the turkey.

Murtagh: The what?

Roran: The turkey. These are gravy popsicles…..

Murtagh: ewwww…..

Arya starts skipping out with Murtagh, Roran, and an….er….. slightly dipstick minded Eragon….


	2. Eragon Meets 2007

To Be Continued

Chapter 2: Eragon Meets 2007

Arya, Roran, Murtagh, Eragon land in the real world of 2007!

Roran: Wowie Eragon! This is truly a masterpiece!

Murtagh stops an oncoming sixth grader

Murtagh: Excuse me lad, might you direct us to the leader of this lovely castle?

Boy: What? What are ya talkin bout?

Murtagh flinches at the use of bad grammer

Boy: Oh! I get it, you must be the new foreign exchange students….well the eighth grade classrooms are over there! points…..although…you seem a little old even for eighth grade…..no offense though…

Roran: Sure, we'll go with that.

Murtagh steps in front

Murtagh: We have come from our country to learn about you and your customs……and of course ipods! What name shall I address you by?

Boy: uh…well…..like, dude! I like don't know…..

Roran: We come from Alagaesia! The finest and best of all countries!

They all smile stupidly as if it were obvious

Boy: Oh, um…yes…of course. I took geography after all so it is natural that I know where Alegesa is.

Murtagh: You mean Alagaesia, right?

Boy: stutters w-well, yes of course. Is that in Europe?

Roran: Sure, why not?

Boy looks at them oddly

Boy: Are you dudes like okay man?

Eragon: Of course we're okay dummy head! We just had a little too much caffeinated peanut butter this morning!!! That's all…..

Boy: Did you say caffeinated peanut butter???

All: Yep.

Boy: Well…uh….er…..okay dude's…..see ya later……I umm……have to go……somewhere…….somewhere else…..

Boy runs off quick as his short legs can carry him.

Eragon: Some people just aren't that smart huh?

All: Yeah….

Later they take a time portal back to their own world of Alagaesia feeling rather disappointed…..they didn't get too impressed over the intellectual people in our world…..buuut…..they all got shing new ipods!


	3. Galby's New Year's Party

Chapter 3: Galby's New Year's party

Back in the Varden campout….

Eragon: What a great trip…..even if their kind were total complete idiots.

Roran: Unlike us of course.

Eragon: Yeah, unlike us…….by the way, have you seen my whoopee cusion by any chance? I was hoping to get back at Galby for using up my silly string.

Murtagh: Eragon! You can't use a whoopee cusion now, it would make so much more sense to get an unexpected surprise attack.

Eragon: Okie dokie, pipe and smokey!

All: Huh?

Eragon: Oh never mind, I just meant to say that surprises are total fun!

All: Yeah!

Arya: I thought you liked Galby, Murtagh?

Murtagh: I do, but I like Eragon too……Galby is a good party thrower though…..I remember his last party….you know the one where Roran made those great popsicles…..not that you would remember…after all….you WEREN"T invited….chuckles

Arya: Take that BACK!!!!!

Arya and Murtagh get into a fight spraying each other with silly string madly.

Arya: Pretty boy!

Murtagh: Vege-Weirdoian!

Arya: confused There is NO such thing as "weirdoian".

Murtagh: Uh Huh! It's a combination of a vegetarian and a weirdo.

Arya: Okaaaay.

Eragon: Be quiet! I'm listening to my prettiful Saphire ipod!

Saphira suddenly pops her head in

Saphira: Hey! What about me?

Eragon: Oh, well….you can make me a sandwhich or something…..then go do….dragon things…

Saphira: WHAT?!? I'm being replaced by modern technology…….flies of whimpering

Murtagh runs out real quick

Roran: So what song are you listening to?

Eragon: Some song by a true genius…..he is soooo cool……his name is WEIRD AL!!!! Whoo hoo!

Roran: Okaaaay.

Murtagh runs back in all excited

Murtagh: Hey everybody! We have been officially invited to Galbatorix's beach party….er…I mean…New Year's Party!

All: Yay!

Eragon: confused Okay Murtagh, what should we get for Mr. Year's on his birthday?

Arya: No, no, no! New Year's ISN"T a person, it's a day…..DUH!

Eragon: Sooo….I can't get him a rubber chicken then…..It would be number one quality….and brand name too, with a cool noise maker and…

All: Eragon, SHUT UP!

Eragon: Fine! See if I get him any birthday presents!

Murtagh: You are soooo stupid Eragon….

Eragon: Oh yeah?!? You're the one that wears the elmo boxers!!!!

Murtagh blushes bright red

Murtagh: I-I…er….uh……..

Arya and Roran: You do?

All except Murtagh: HAHAHAA!

Murtagh: Well at least I don't suck my thumb like a baby!

Eragon: Hey! It helps me overcome my fear of the dark…I TOLD you that!!!

Eragon starts sucking his thumb and whimpering

Arya: Break it up you two! We have to get ready for Galby's party…..which I AM INVITED TO.

Arya turns around and sticks out her tongue to Roran before leaving the room

Roran: Stupid snot head elf!

Later at Galby's party………

Galby: Welcome Murtagh, Roran, Eragon, and uhh……who are you?

He looks at Arya confused

Arya: You INVITED me! Remember? Arya the elf?

Galby: Oh right…..the little elf with that annoying ipod thingy……..well you can stay….just don't be annoying or anything…..

Arya stomps off muttering angrily with the rest of her companions who are joining the party.

Arya: What a jerk! His red didn't match the orange either! Clashing color buffoon!!!

Murtagh: Don't speak of Galby like that Arya, he was super nice….and look, he even gave Eragon a can of peanuts.

Eragon opens lid of can excitedly only to see a fake snake pop out of it and realize it was a gag joke.

Eragon: AHHH!!! He plays dirty! That's it, no more Mr. Nice Eragon.

Eragon marches up to Galbatorix angrily thirsting for revenge.

Galby: Yessss?

Eragon: You TRICKED me?!?

Galby: Aha! You figured it out you dipstick, it's about time!

Eragon: I'll say, those peanuts weren't FAT FREE! You knooow I'm on a diet Galby……and yet you couldn't get me fat free…..honestly…the nerve of some people!

Eragon marches off with his head held high leaving a dumbstruck King.

Galby: What a bonehead! I guess I overestimated him. His intellect can NEVER match mine…..I feel all sad now…..where's my teddy weddy?

Galby shuffles off sniffling and looking for his teddy bear.

Roran: What a dull party….there isn't even any bobbing for apples.

Murtagh: Tell me about it.

Eragon: And not to mention how rude and inconsiderate the host was.

Arya: Yeah! He thought I was unimportant! I'll show that spoiled palace baby!

Eragon: Hey! I know, let's do a dance….and I can sing!!

All except Eragon: NOOOOO!! Spare us PLEEEAAASE!!!

They are too late however and Eragon jumps up on a stage(that appears randomly out of nowhere) and starts his beautiful touching song…

Eragon: Ol' McDonald had a faaaaaarm! E I, E I, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Everyone in the room starts screaming in terror and running around in circles.

Everyone: NO, PLEASE, SPARE US!!!!

Pretty soon the room is left empty except for his companions so he hops off the stage that randomly disappears as quickly as it came.

Eragon: I guess the thrill was too much to have at once.

Murtagh: They left because it was HORRIBLE Eragon!

Eragon: They did not! You're just jealous!

Galbatorix suddenly walks in carrying a toddler sized teddy bear….

Galby: Oh Mr. Snuggles, make it all better for me! I almost died when that big mean scary lion got near me!

Galby suddenly sees the four of them and hides his bear under a very tacky orange cloak.

Galby: Oh umm…..are you STILL here?

Roran: We were just going to leave, but first(points to a little kitten in a nearby corner)…is that the scary lion?

Galby: IS NOT! I just….just……couldn't see it's form in the dark

Galby shows them to the door…

Roran: What a wimp.

Arya: Who wears clashing colors.

Eragon: Yeah, and who doesn't appreciate me taking a diet!

Murtagh: I never did get to bob for an apple…..

They all skip off to their next EVIL, DARING, adventure…..of a sort…..lol


	4. Eragon Meets His FIRST fangirl

A/N-Okay, this is yet ANOTHER chapter of stupidity in a story format(hehe). Read and Review!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this……..obviously…..after all this is FAN fiction…..

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We last saw Eragon and his absurd friends skipping out of Galbatorix's New Year's party. Let's sneak in and see what they are doing in the Varden campout……….

Roran: Eragon! That stupid tree hugging elf is being annoying….AGAIN!

Eragon: Oh Roran! Don't be so silly! She is JUST being nice to nature!

Roran: Well I think tha-

Roran: HEY! Who are they?

Me: Oh…do you mean us?

Both: Yeeeeaaaah….

Me: Well….um….I wrote you….in a parody story….

Eragon: A what?

Me: You know, a comedy?

Eragon: Never heard of it…..

Me: Yeah and these are the readers.

Eragon: I sorta got lost…..but……are any of the readers my fangirls?

Eragon looks hopefully at the crowd of people. Murtagh and Arya come in at that moment.

Murtagh: Eragon, we've been over this. I get all the fangirls, okay?

Eragon: But…but…..that's just not fair. Hey…YOU! How come you didn't write me any fangirls in the story???? 

Me: Well…..I kinda thought that you were a good character to pick on……

Eragon: WHAT?!? How come Murtagh gets ALL the girls?

Me: Becaaaaause……I like him more than you……he's SOOOO dreamy….

Eragon: That's just great! Even my own author thinks my brother is better!

Me: Actually this is just fan fiction so I'm not your real author…..just someone who writes their own version of you…

Eragon: What am I "really" like in the "real" books?

Me: Your brave, heroic, fierce, intelligent, and…….you like Arya!

Eragon: No way! I like Arya?!?

Arya: You do?!?

Both: ACK!?!

Me: Hehe….yeah that's about it……

Murtagh: So, YOU are the one to blame for our lame script and dialog?

Me:Uuuummmm……possibly….but I gotta…..gotta…..go!

I try to run out but Eragon blocks my way.

Eragon: Hold it! Before you go, I have to know if I actually have any fangirls. If you are my fangirl then clap your hands and I will live!

Murtagh: That's the fairies in "Peter Pan" that you clap for dufus! Besides….it's totally dorky to clap your hands….no wonder you don't have any fangirls…

Suddenly one of the readers steps out and smiles at Eragon. She is wearing a shirt with Eragon on it in a picture frame like heart.

Girl: I LOVE YOU ERAGON!!! AND I LOVE YOUR CAFFEINATED PEANUT BUTTER!!! 

Eragon: YOU DO?!? THAT IS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!

Me: Cut it out you two! You can't fall in love with each other! Eragon isn't even real!

I grab the girl and push everyone out of the fan fiction story……

Me: That didn't work out so well…..

Girl: I may never see that smart Eragon dude again….

Me: Oh for pete's sake, he isn't even REAL!!!

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Eragon: WAHHHHH!!! MY LOVE HAS LEFT ME!!

Arya: Oh Eragon, It's okay. Here hold this teddy bear and everything will be okaaay.

Arya gives him a teddy bear and handkerchief.

Eragon: Golly Arya, you aren't ALWAYS obnoxious……..in fact your…..kinda……well……kinda sweet.

Arya smiles at him and they look at the sunset at the Varden camp. Perhaps there is hope in the whacked out world of Alagaesia….

Eragon: By the way….would you like some "special" peanut butter?

Arya: Sure! As long as I can get a gravy popsicle too!

……..Then again….some things may NEVER EVER EVER…..change…..

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A/N-This chapter was totally and utterly different. Let me know whether you liked it or not.


	5. CP Meets His Terrorized Books

A/N-I made a super-super-super random chapter. YAY FOR ME!!!!

Disclaimer-I do not own any of Christopher Paolini's works…..blah blah blah………

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Murtagh: ERAGON! Help me! Those ruthless fangirls are after me….AGAIN!!!

Eragon: Reeeeaaaally? I seem to recall you bragging about how many you have and that I'm not as popular as you….

Murtagh: NO! I'M SOOORRRRYYY!!! Just….HELP ME!! I NEED HE-

Murtagh is trampled by a bunch of fangirls dressed in modern clothes.

Eragon: Ever since that dork-of-a-writer visited us, extra fangirls have been coming……and NOW you are the last one to laugh!!! MWAUHAHAHA!!

Roran: Hey, you are _supposed_ to be….like, a hero! And hero's do NOT make evilly evil laughs.

Eragon: That's no fun.

Roran: Deal with it.

Eragon: I hate you.

Roran: That's _also_ not something the good guy should do.

Eragon: Well excuse me! What are you, my mother?

Roran: Fine then! Be that way!

Arya: Hey Roran! Don't talk to Eri that way!

Roran: Eri?!? AAAAWWWW!!!

Arya: Shut-up nosy!

Murtagh comes back with his hair messed up and a crazed.

Murtagh: Man! Those girls are insane!!! I demand that we get revenge on that awful girl that made me go through this torture!!

Eragon: Yeah! I should also ask for more fangirls!

Arya: HEY!

Eragon: Uuuummmm……..I mean….let's do it for Murtagh's sake!

Arya: That's better…..

Roran: Let's get Angela to make a portal! Onward!

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Christopher Paolini is writing a chapter in his third book when a portal opens and whisks him away……to his own books(in which the characters coincidentally look exactly alike the actors/actresses that play them in the movie) !!!

CP: Where am I?

Eragon: Hey! You aren't the dork!

CP: The movie is over…….why are you still wearing the costume….and HOW did I get on set????!!!???

Eragon: Dude, you don't make any sense…

Arya: Don't be so mean Eragon…he's kinda hot…

CP: What?!? That's not in your script!

Arya: Whatever….

Christopher Paolini sees Saphira flying overhead and totally loses it.

CP: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! THAT'S NOT COMPUTER ANIMATION!!!!!!!!

All: Nope!

CP: Tell me I'm dreaming!

Murtagh: Well I could….but, then I'd be lying.

CP: How did I get here?!? And WHY DO YOU ALL LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE MOVIE STARS IN THE ERAGON MOVIE?!?!?!?!?

Eragon: I get my _very own_ movie?? WHOO HOO!!! YEEESSSS!!!

Roran: Sooooo……what was your name?

CP: You DON'T know?!? I'm your author….you know…..Christopher Paolini…..the world renowned author……

Murtagh: Oh, so you are the REAL author who wrote us….we've already met some other fake writer….

CP: Fake writer? What? Oh, do you mean fan fiction authors?

Eragon: Something like that…..

Roran: Yeah. This is a fan fiction writer's story. I heard we were cooler in your stories.

Eragon: And I heard that I got the girls!

Murtagh: AND, I heard that you made me a low down heartless traitor……who doesn't even get one girl at all…..!!!

Arya: I heard that I liked Eragon…..but I think you are ten times better than him….

CP: Uh….um……this is really weird……

Arya: Do I HAVE to like Eragon in the books?

CP: Who would you rather like?

Arya: Well…uh…I don't know….maybeee…..YOU!

CP: WHAT?!? A fake character is in love with me!!!

He looks at Arya and her pretty elvish face.

CP: Although, you are kinda cute……

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Me: Should we help poor CP get out of my evil stories? I think NOT! At least not right away………let's just pop in and see how they are doing…..

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A big group of readers and writers all pop out of thin air right in the middle of the extremely goofy adventures of Eragon and Murtagh…

Eragon: There she is! That's the girl who made me a stupid loser….without any fangirls!

Murtagh: Let it go Eragon….

Eragon: I thought that you were mad too?

Murtagh: I changed my mind…..my fangirls aren't _always_ too hyper….

Eragon: Well Fine! Be that way!

CP: I am not crazy! I am not crazy! I am not crazy!

He slaps himself over and over trying to convince himself that it's just a dream.

Me: Sorry….but….this is sorta kinda real……well….not really…..but…..

CP: So, I presume that you are the "dork"?

Me: That would be me! And _they _the other readers and fan fiction writers!

Christopher Paolini looks over the group of excited fans and the other Murtagh fangirls.

CP: Wow! I still can't figure out why everyone likes Murtagh….I mean…come on! I made him evil!

Fangirls: YEAH! WE'LL NEVER EVER FORGET IT EITHER!!!

CP:…..er…….

Arya: Well…I'M NOT a Murtagh fan!

CP: You are prettier than I wrote you…..buuut…..why don't you have black hair like _I_ wrote you with?

Me: Yeah, about that. Sorry! After I saw the movie I pictured her with red hair.

CP: I can't believe the nerve of you people, making hideous stories of parody in my very serious mannered novels!

Parody Writers: HEY!

CP: And YOU! YOU made my love….ER….I mean…Arya, act so stupid. How COULD you?

Me: I couldn't help it. I don't really like her.

Arya: MEANIE HEAD!!!

CP: TAKE THAT BACK!!!

Me: No way! Just deal with it. I won't mess with your writing if you don't mess with mine.

CP: Well I kinda DID write the series NOT you!

Me: Jerk!

CP: Dork!

Me: Elf lover!

CP: Geek!

A random reader bursts out and stops the childish writer ego.

Reader: Cut it out you two! Let's just leave already!

Me: Fine!

CP: But….but…..does that mean….I have to leave…..Arya?

Me: SHE'S NOT EVEN REAL!!!!

CP: But still……I made her when I was all alone…

Me: You mean you wrote her because you were too lame to get a girlfriend?

CP: WAS NOT! WAS NOT! I-I….I….just……….you are SUCH a mind reader……oh and by the way… I think you're a horrible writer!

Me: Gosh!

Reader: Now, now. Let's just all relax and find our inner peace.

CP: Forget that! Get me outta here before I completely lose my sanity!

Me: Easier said than done!

CP: Goode-bye Arya!

Arya: Good-bye….Chris Pal Wal!

Eragon: Hey! You can't give HIM a nickname! You are in love with MEEEE!!!! Remember?

Arya: Okie-dokie….I'll go with that!

The writers, readers, and a dazed Christopher Paolini all poof back to their same boring worlds…..

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CP: ACK! What a totally weird dream. Still….I can't help but wonder if my fans REALLY write parodies as stupid as that…………..

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A/N-MWAUHAHAHAHAHA!!! What a totally weird chapter! I felt I had to make another chapter like the last. The next will NOT be like the last two. I just HAD to write them. It was such an impulse.


	6. Teen Tycoon

A/N-Yes! I HAVE finally added yet another chapter to my erm……_**insane**…._side…….mwhehehehehe……..ACK!(don't ask…)

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Eragon: MWEHEHEHE!!!

Murtagh: What's with the goofy laugh?

Eragon: I dunno….I just thought of it recently

Murtagh: Ok.

Eragon: Murtagh, can I borrow your computer?

Murtagh: No.

Eragon: Please!

Murtagh: No!

Eragon: Pretty please, with sugar on top.

Murtagh: NO!!!

Eragon: Pretty please! With sugar, peanut butter, caffeine, chicken, gravy, lollipops, and chocolate with marshmallows??

Murtagh: For goodness sakes! NOO!!!!!!!

Eragon: Fine! I'm gonna tell mommy.

Murtagh: Only a baby would do that. **_Besides, _**she has been missing for like……..twenty years…..

Eragon: Well, then I'll tell the second closest person.

Murtagh: Oh really? And just who might that be?

Eragon: MWAUHAHAHA!! That's for me to know……..hehehehe……_Saphira!!!!_

Murtagh: I should've known…..

Eragon: Now, FEAR the wrath of me and my faithful sidekick!

Saphira: Sidekick?!? Get a life you idiot! I am a million times smarter, stronger, and waaaay more popular than YOU.

Eragon: What?!? How dare you talk to me like that Emeralda!!!

Saphira: Actually my name is **_Saphira_**…….you know….the sapphire colored dragon and all….

Eragon: Whatever….just….go away…SHOO! Go play with daisy, and make sure you take out the trash Opal!

Saphira: Fine! But it's **_Saphira _**and **_Thorn….._**GOSH! Humans and their stupid pride!

Saphira stomps out to sulk for the next few hours and probably have to listen to "daisy's" corny jokes……

Murtagh: So, do you think I should get a haircut?

Eragon: It's YOUR hair………and YES! Maybe if you should get a mohawk…….just so…..you know….just so that you can lose all your fangirls and let me get them……

Murtagh: Forget that idea then!

Arya and Roran come skipping in.

Arya: Howdy Ya'll!

Roran: Yee-Haw!

Murtagh and Eragon: Okie Dokie….

Arya: We have just decided that it's time to go rescue Katrina before Roran goes mad!

Roran: Yeah! I must rescue my love!

Murtagh: Finally, something interesting to do………

Eragon: YAY! Oh goodie gum drops! I can't wait!

Murtagh: You can come Eragon….but first. You HAVE to hand over the "special" peanut butter.

Eragon: No.

Murtagh: Yes!

Eragon: No.

Murtagh: YES!

Eragon: No. I'll tell on you!

Murtagh: Fine then, I'll have to take it by force. Are you ticklish?

Murtagh grins an extra evil Murtagh grin and tackles Eragon down in a hard core….TICKLE FIGHT!

Eragon: Wha- NOOO!!! Ha! AHAHAHAHA!!! THE HORROR!! AHAHAHA!!! GWEHEHE!! HEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!

Eragon starts giggling like a toddler while Murtagh snatches the peanut butter and steps back.

Murtagh: There, I hope you learned your lesson about trying to hide caffeine loaded stuff from me.

Eragon: Yes! Yes! Just PLEASE don't tickle me with your evilness!!

Roran: Will you two like cut it out? I NEED to rescue my fiancé.

All: Okay!

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Meanwhile at Galbatorix's castle……

Galby: My trap is working…..they are coming to save you…but little do they know that I have a trap waiting……

Katrina: You said that twice, ya know….

Galby: Huh?

Katrina: Oh, never mind dude….

Galby: You just had to but in right when I was going to do my evilly evil laugh!

Katrina: Get over it dude.

Galby: ARGH!

Katrina: Gosh! First you kidnap me and THEN you stick me in this lamely decorated castle and NOW I am soooo bored.

Galby: What?!? Why are you complaining? I have been nice to you. And look! I even put you in my sister's room.

Katrina: Exactly, and her "Backstreet Boys" music video's are SO outta season!

Galby: Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh…….you stupid teenagers……

Katrina: I want some orange soda!

Galby: You'll have to get over it then…all I have is coke….

Katrina: COKE?!? I can't drink coke!

Galby: And why not?

Katrina: Because Galby walby, It might stain my totally "in season" dress. The style is like all the rage!

Galby:…….I dearly hope that they come….SOON………though exactly WHY anybody would like you, I have no idea….

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Eragon: Onward! Tis the way to thee castle yonder!

Murtagh: Whatever.

Roran: Aaaawwww. How nice of Galby to put up that awesome welcome mat.

Arya: Yeah, make sure you wipe your feet BEFORE you go in. The castle staff can get really angry if you don't…….and don't ask me how I know that….

Eragon: No prob!

Roran: Eragon, have you been copying Katrina's teen talk?

Eragon: What would like make ya think that, dude?

Roran: Nothing really.

Murtagh: SHHHH!! We have to be quiet so we can sneak up to get her.

They all sneak up to the throne room and jump in. Don't ask why. They just did. The sight they saw however was to terrible for words. It could kill a shade by being just a mile near it….

Eragon: MY EYES!!!!!

Murtagh: AAACCKKK!!!!!!! I NEED THE DARKNESS!!! 

Roran: NOOO!!!!!! I SURRENDER!!!

Arya: Would ya'll be quiet! This is totally cute!

The room that was once the most feared place in Alagaesia is now draped in lace, pink, and pictures of the most current boy's bands.

Katrina: Hi! Do you like what I did with the place? It's so retro! Not at all like the dark place it like was before.

Arya: I love it!

Galby pops out wearing very evil sunglasses and a hood trying to not see the haunting girly girl colors.

Galby: TAKE HER!!! I BEG OF THEE!!!!! 

Arya: Weeeelllll….If you….insist!

Arya and Katrina skip out dragging a VERY shocked Roran. Galby furiously starts destroying the pinkness as soon as they leave. Murtagh and Eragon stay and get over how freakishly weird Katrina is….

Galby: Aren't you going?

Murtagh: I can't handle Katrina just yet. It's better to let Roran get used to her….girly habits.

Eragon: Yeah! Besides, I brought playing cards.

Murtagh: What kind?

Eragon: UNO!!!

Murtagh: Yippy Skippy!

Galby: NOOOOO!!!!!!

Will Galby survive the annoying twosome? Will Roran change his mind about Katrina? Find out in the next chapter!!!(If you can survive the nonsense that is)

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	7. Follow The Candy Sweet Road

A/N- Hi to all you readers that actually can stand to read my weirdish strories…….is weirdish even a word????...ahem, anyways…..Bob says, "On with thee story!"……Oh yeah! You go Bob!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of CP's work nor do I own anything from the wizard of oz(don't ask)

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Eragon: Sooo…Galby….watcha wanna do?

Galby: STOP talking like a crazy punk teenager!

Eragon: You just can't be cool can ya Galby Walby?!?

Galby: Breath in….breath out…breath in…breath out…think of a happy place…come on, you can do it…you are an evil dark ruler that won't let some naïve rider get the best of you….

Eragon: And you say I'M crazy! Well at least I don't talk to myself…weeeell…at least not ALL the time….

Murtagh: I'm bored, let's do something.

Eragon: Ooh! Ooh! I know! Let's play hopscotch!

Galby curls in a ball in the corner and whimpers.

Galby: I can do it, I can do it…..

Murtagh: I actually prefer monoply….

Eragon: Can I be the car?

Murtagh: NO! I'm the car because I'm the oldest.

Eragon: That's not very fair.

Murtagh: Deal with it.

Eragon: Bite me.

Galby: Excuse me, but why don't we do something…you know…._evil_?

Murtagh: Like what?

Galby: Like…like…like…like stealing candy from a baby!

Both: Uuuhhhhh…….

Galby: Have you got any better ideas? HUH!?! HUH?!? DO YA??!!!

Eragon: We could dance to nifty fifties music!

Galby: NO! NO! SPARE ME!!!

Eragon turns on a radio and starts singing…..badly.

Eragon: OH YEAH! ROCK AROUUUND THE CLOCK TONIIIGHT!! WE'RE GONNA ROOOOOCK AAAAAROUND THE CLOCK TONIGHT!!!!

Murtagh: That's horrible.

Eragon: Is not!

Murtagh: Is so!

Eragon: I'm telling mommy!

Murtagh: Mommy's been gone for fifteen years!!

Eragon: Oh yeah….now I'm all sad inside…..

Galby looks at the sad Eragon.

Galby: I know where mommy-ERK! I mean, Selena is.

Both: Really?!?

Galby: Yeah, just follow me!!!!

Galby opens a portal and they poof(in a really cheap effects like way) to a distant land.

Murtagh: Tis thee land of thou dreams!

Eragon: Huh?

Murtagh: Oh, sorry. I just wanted to say something dramatic.

Eragon: Oooooh…..cool!

Murtagh: So, where are we exactly?

Galby: We're in Alvin city! The most horribly nice and sweet city ever….

Murtagh: Why is the ground so soft? Is it…COTTON CANDY?!?

Eragon and Murtagh: WHOO HOO!!! JACKPOT!!!

They fall to the ground and start eating.

Galby: Oh good, you've found the cotton candy road! Hey! Is that a puffman?

Puffman1: Follow the candy sweet road!!

Puffman2: Follow the caaandy sweeeet roaaad!!!

Puffman1and2: Foooolloooww the caaandy sweeeet rooooaaad!!!!

Puffman1: It will lead to the Princess! The wonderful princess of Alvin!

Puffman2: Just follow the candy sweet road.

Puffman1and2: Fooollooow theee caaandy sweet road!!!!

Galby: Okay….well I guess we'll just be going then…

Galby grabs Murtagh and Eragon and runs down the cotton candy sweet road…..

XXXXXXXXXXXX

They arrive at a huge pink palace(which is REALLY tacky by the way).

Galby: Uhh, I guess I should knock. XknockX XknockX

Guard: Hello?

Murtagh: We need to get in.

Guard: What's the password?

Galby: Cotton candy?

Guard: No.

Murtagh: Pink and cute?

Guard: No.

Galby: Puff man?

Guard: No.

Murtagh: I hate guests?

Guard: Huh?? NO!

Eragon blinks and smiles as he sees the "sci-fi" badge on the guard's jacket.

Eragon: Ooh! Ooh! I know! I bet it's, "Spock looks like an elf", riiiight?

Guard: WHA- How did you know that???

Eragon: Uuummm……let's just say that I'm a psychic….now let us in thou city of thy…..thy….thy dreams!

Guard: Okay, okay. You are such a wise being that I bet you could even challenge our mighty princess.

Murtagh: Eragon? A wise being? HAHAHA!!!

Eragon: Oh, hush up!

They walk into the palace.

Galby: Excuse me miss, but do you know where we might find Selena?

Maiden: Who? Oh..you must mean the princess…..yep! She's over there…XpointsX

They walk over to a woman sitting on a desk wearing a VERY bright pink, lacy, puffy, and cotton candy like dress.

Galby: Do you know where Selena is?

Princess Vanilla: I do.

Galby: Will you tell us?

Princess Vanilla: I will.

They wait patiently.

Galby: Weell?

Princess Vanilla: You never actually asked me where she was.

Galby: Oh, well where is she?

Eragon: HOLD IT! This conversation seems vaguely familiar……

Princess Vanilla: Yep! Angela told me all about ya'll! By the way…I am Selena!

Murtagh: You have got to be kidding……

Galby: I guess that's where Eragon gets his wisdom from then…hehehe

Eragon: YAY! My mommy rocks!

Murtagh: So, you are a princess?

Selena/Princess Vanilla: Yes.

Murtagh: Why did you abandon us!?! Not that I'm complaining…..

Selena: My kingdom was in danger of the evil giant evil people…..whose names escape me…..not to mention that my people were at a shortage of peanut butter….

Murtagh: XsarcasticallyX Wow, that's such a good reason!

Selena: Thank you!

Murtagh: I was being sarcastic….

Selena: So was I.

Murtagh: ARGHH!!!

Galby: See? This is the reason why I never visit my family! Because they are always such weirdo's…especially my grandma butter fingers!

All: Uuuhhhh…….

Galby: Did I just say that aloud?

Murtagh: Kinda…

Galby: Oops….

Selena: So, are ya'll gonna stay with me forever in the land of Alvin?

Murtagh: NOOOO!!!!!

A puffman pops out of thin air.

Puffman: If you want to go home then clap your heels three times.

Murtagh: What?!?

Puffman: It's either that or stay with your mother….

Murtagh: OKAY!!! I'LL DO IT!!!

Claps his heels over and over three times.

Murtagh: There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home!!

He wakes up to see Eragon standing over him.

Eragon: WHOA!! You were like clicking your heels in your sleep like a baby!!!

Murtagh: So, it wasn't real then?

Eragon: I dunno.

Murtagh: Hmmm…..

Eragon: Well I gotta go Murty! Mommy wants to know my peanut butter recipe!

Murtagh: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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A/N- I seriously need to get a life……… What a beautiful ending for this chapter. May your swords stay sharp and your peanut butter caffeinated:0


	8. Roran's Rescue

A/N- Thank you all so much for your reviews!! This is totally fun to write and your reviews keep me going!! So, keep' em coming!! Here! Bob says have a cookie to those who reviewed. –hands cookie-

If you don't review, then you don't get a cookie! I bet that REALLY makes you want to review. ;)

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Back with Roran and the two crazed teenage girls we have a disaster in the Alagaesian mall.

Roran: But Katrina, I don't wanna go shopping!!!

Katrina: Well that's just too bad Rory! Cause Arya and me found a sale on cute hot pink fluffy laced shirts..and we HAVE to get'em!

Roran: NO! NO, PLEEEAAASE!!! NO MORE!!!

Arya: You are SUCH a whiny baby Roran! I bet Murty and Eri would be much more cooperative than you. Take it like a man! Shopping is a valued skill in society.

Roran: And I care why exactly?

Katrina glances at Arya with a girly glare.

Katrina: Beeecaause….we have a videotape of you watching "Barney"!

Roran blushes and shakes.

Roran: IT'S A LIE!! I DON'T WATCH BABY SHOWS!!!

Everyone in the entire mall quiets down to look at him screaming like an idiot.

Roran: Uh…um….I mean…….er…….

Arya: Are ya gonna hush up now?

Roran: Whatever…

Katrina: Fine! Now hold my shopping bags!

Roran: I can't hold that Katrina!!! It has a giant plush kitty in it!!!

Katrina: I know! Isn't it adorable?

Roran: ARGH! I can't believe Eragon and Murtagh left me alone with you two…..

Arya: Don't worry! We have a surprise for you!

Katrina: Yeah! We bought the coolest new movie!

Roran: Really? Which one?

Arya and Katrina: Princess Buttercup and her Magical Pony!!

Roran: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

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Eragon: So which store do ya think Roran's in?

Murtagh looks around and stops his eyes at a particular store.

Murtagh: That one. –points-

Eragon: What makes ya think that it's that one?

Murtagh: Let's just say I get a special feeling… -rolls eyes-

They walk into a bright pink store that is stocked with pink ipods, kittens, purses, and other various pink items swarming with teenage girls. Murtagh bumps into a tall young girl around fourteen with brunette hair and glasses.

Girl: Hey! I know YOU! You're Murtagh!

Murtagh: Oh great! Are you another fanfic writer?

Girl: Uuhhh…..well yeah! But don't worry, I'm not as crazy as the author of this story!

Murtagh: What's your name?

Girl: I'm an illustrator!

Murtagh: We don't have an illustrator!

Girl: Now you do!

Murtagh: -shrugs-

Eragon: But we don't have any pictures….

Illustrator: Don't be such a spoilsport Eragon! Nobody has to know that there's not an illustrator for fanfiction……

Murtagh: Okay then.

Eragon: Sure!

Illustrator: Better! Now, were you looking for Katrina and Arya?

Murtagh: Yeah, and Roran.

Illustrator: Why is Roran shopping with them?

Murtagh: We have reason to believe that he is being held against his will.

Eragon: Aye. And we shall rescue thy cousin from thee evil teens!

Illustrator: It's awesomely cool when you talk like that! My friend wrote you and she made you soooo weird…yet very cool when you talk like a dreamy hero!

Murtagh: So YOU are friends with the insane person who writes us as OOC dum dums?

Illustrator: Uh..possibly….I'm not nearly as crazy as her though! Well, at least I don't think so….

Eragon: I'm crazy and just look at how happy I am!

Illustrator: That's what I'm afraid of…..-chuckles-

Murtagh: Are we just gonna chat about how odd we are? Or are we going to save Roran?

They all turn to leave but are stopped by another girl with streaked slightly curly hair in front and gazing at the two.

Reader Fanatic: IT'S ERAGON!!!!!!

Eragon: Well it's nice to know that somebody is excited to see ME for once!

Murtagh: Don't get too excited Eragon, she's probably just hallucinating you to be as awesome as me.

Reader Fanatic: No I'm not! I like Eragon waaaaaay better than you.

Murtagh: I feel so alone…..

Illustrator: Don't act like a baby Murtagh!

Reader Fanatic looks at the Illustrator and her eyes widen with shock.

Reader Fanatic: LAUREN!!! What are YOU doing with Eragon?!?

Illustrator: I'm helping them rescue Roran from the crazed teens that you-know-who made them act like. And PLEASE don't call me by my real name on fanfic! It's embarrassing!!!

Reader Fanatic: Oh yeah? Well I snuck into….you-know-who's stories and I am going to save Roran with Murtagh and Eragon….not YOU!

Illustrator: Oh yeah?

Reader Fanatic: Yeah!

Illustrator: You've gone too far...PERSON WHO I'VE FORGOTTEN THE NAME OF!!!!!

Reader Fanatic: That's just hurtful! You-know-who should have made you a crazy character too!

Illustrator: Who said you-know-who didn't?

Reader Fanatic: I'm never talking to you again!

Murtagh: Now, now ya'll. We have to help Roran, so let's put aside our differences and get along shall we?

Illustrator: Well, I guess I can do that for the sake of you-know-who….

Reader Fanatic: I guess I could too then…..

Both: -sighs-

Eragon: I'm not sure I exactly followed that…..but….let's go!! Do you think you-know-who would like a lollipop?

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Roran: No! Please don't ask me for anymore clothes advice! PLEASE!

Katrina: But Rory! I need to know if this top makes me look fat…..

Arya: It doesn't…..buuut….it does kinda clash….

Katrina: You think everything clashes Arya.

Arya: What's wrong with that?

Katrina: -sighs-

They suddenly see Murtagh, Eragon, and two girls giving evil glares at each other running up

Murtagh: There you are! Roran., Are ya okay?

Roran: ARE YOU KIDDING?!? First you go off with Galby to have tons of fun without me and then they get me to carry their bags. Then they made me watch the newest chic flick about a pink pony and a obnoxious princess and THEN they brought me here to ask to tell them how they look in their stupid new outfits!!!!.

Illustrator: Do you mean that I could've been shopping instead of exchanging insults with an annoying reader?

Reader Fanatic: Hey!

Illustrator: Uh…I mean…..I have to leave..because I um have a doctor's appointment…..

Reader Fanatic: I suppose I should leave too. I have a date with Orlando Bloom…

Illustrator: WHAT?!?

Reader Fanatic: Just kidding…hehehehehe

Illustrator: Oh. Well in that case, would ya like to go to the Murtagh community with me?

Reader Fanatic: I actually kinda like Eragon better.

Illustrator: Murtagh!

Reader Fanatic: Eragon!

Illustrator: Murtagh!

Reader Fanatic: Eragon!

Illustrator: Murtagh!

Reader Fanatic: Murtagh!

Illustrator: Huh?

Reader Fanatic: Oops! You made me lose concentration….

Illustrator: Okaaaay……Buh-bye!

They both skip off(yes they SKIP off..hahaha) to the communities on Eragon….and Murtagh..-sighs-…

Murtagh: Weird.

Roran: Very.

Eragon: I kinda like'em.

Murtagh: You would!

Eragon: What's that supposed to mean?

Arya and Katrina: Hey! We're still here!!!

Eragon and Roran: RUN FROM THE TEENS!!!!

Murtagh: Hmmm….

Roran: What?

Murtagh: This may not be the best time….but….since when did we have a mall in the middle of fantasy stories?

All: Uuuhhhhh….

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A/N- That IS a very good question Murty! I don't really have an answer for it though….. This chappie is dedicated to my friends "yellowdog98"(reader fanatic), and "bookworm-4-ever2012"(Illustrator). Since they wanted to be in a chapter….aaannnd…I thought it was appropriate to make them fighting –coughs-. Stay tuned for the next chappie of goofy adeventures!!!! PUSH THE MAGIC BUTTON BELOW!!!! –you know you want to ;)-


	9. The Movie That Went Wrong

A/N- Wow! Almost two thousand hits for this randomness of mine! I am very happy now considering I thought it would be impossible to get two people to read this ;)

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In the land of Alagaesia, the abnormal heroes are getting restless.

Eragon: I cannot believe that we are going to be in a movie. A movie that **_I_** am the awesome hero in!

Murtagh: There is no logic in their choice….

Eragon: Well somebody's jealous!

Director: You two, cut it out! The filming will start soon.

SCENE 1: TAKE 1

Arya and her two guards gallop on their horses.

Arya: Oh no! I will like never get away from that evil Durza dude!

Director: CUT! You can't say "dude" in this movie! It's too teenagey…..

Arya: Oh..gotcha!

Director: Keep rolling.

The two random elf guys suddenly get shot and fall over along with Arya.

Arya: What a clumsy horse!

-Runs towards some trees.-

Arya: Why do I smell something burning?

Durza walks in through a ring of fire.

Arya: EEK! Fire! Fire! I can't let it burn my newest outfit!!

Durza: There is no escaping my evilness!

Arya: Oh yeah? Well then –jumps up and mutters a few words-

Durza: What happened to the giant jelly bean?

Arya: Oh wouldn't you like to know?

Durza: -knocks her down-

Arya: Poor Durzy wurzy….what will he tell that spoiled palace brat now?

Director: Cuuuuut!!!!! That wasn't exactly what I had planned…….

SCENE 4: TAKE 3

Eragon: Oh no! My uncle..he's…he's….dead…..-sobs-

Garrow: Psst! –whispers- Do I have to pretend to be dead much longer?

Eragon: -whispers back- Be quiet! This is the third time we've had to do this scene because you couldn't pretend to be dead.

Garrow:……

A figure emerges in the doorway and Eragon attacks but is easily tackled down.

Brom: YOU are the next rider? NO WAY! Why in the world would a dragon choose the likes of you to be a rider? You can't even sing well!

Eragon: Can so!

Brom: I am just going to ignore your childish attitude and out of my sympathy for your situation I will burn your house down and throw you on a horse and make you go to the Varden without letting you have a say in it first, therefore going very out of character from my personality in the book of a common sensed old man who actually has a caring perspective.

Eragon: Uuhh…I don't follow….

Brom: Did I just say that aloud? Oops! That wasn't even in the script…..

Director: CUT!

SCENE 7: TAKE 1

Brom: Go get some bread from this suspiciously deserted village Eragon.

Eragon: Okay!

Walks around a corner and sees someone in a hooded cloak.

Eragon: What a creepy dude! Thank goodness I'M not related to somebody as mysterious as that….

Eragon walks into a random shop for no apparent reason.

Eragon: I kinda recall this being in the middle of a city and not a deserted village…but…whatever!

Angela: Greetings….would you like your fortune told?

Eragon: Where are your frogs?

Angela: Excuse me?

Eragon: Your frogs. You know, you were a goofy outrageous character in the book and then the spoilsport movie makers decided to make you straight out dull and serious.

Angela: -sighs- Would you like your fortune told or not?

Eragon: Okay…

Angela: You will be a great hero and do great things and be in great battles..-sighs-

Eragon: Aren't you going to mention someone in my family betraying me, or me leaving forever by boat, or me falling in love with noble blood, or me having super long life?

Angela: My script was shortened in order to keep me dull and not funny….-rolls eyes-

Eragon: That's a bummer….

Angela: You could never imagine….

Director: CUT! Stop talking about stuff that's not in your script!

SCENE 9: TAKE 2

Arya: Save yourself rider….

Eragon: Aren't you supposed to be unconscious?

Arya: I decided that I deserved to be in the movie more than Murtagh so they shortened his scenes and took out my unconscious scenes…

Eragon: Uh….

Durza: -poofs up- Aha! I have you now you puny little farm boy!

Eragon: It's not nice to call names, I am after all only fifteen years old!

Durza: Actually your seventeen now.

Eragon: Why? I was supposed to be an innocent little fifteen year old in the book, not a young adult.

Durza: Don't ask me, I don't write the script. I just say it….well….sometimes…-snickers sarcastically-

Arya: Run Eragon!!

Durza: I have just decided to kill you even though I really shouldn't because it would end the line of riders forever and Galby wouldn't be happy….but….whatever!

Durza magically picks up a spear and throws it at him only to be blocked by Brom jumping out of nowhere.

Eragon: NOOO!!!! –shoots arrow at Durza'a forehead-

Brom: Do I have to die now?

Eragon: Yes…

Brom: -rolls over and pretends to die-

Director: This really stinks….

Eragon: Well maybe if you made us a decent script that is actually like the books somebody would like it!

Director: Oh sure! Blame it on the script that is absolutely remote of the book's plot…..

SCENE 11: TAKE 1

-Puts Arya on the ground quickly-

Eragon: She will die if we can't get to the Varden Saphira! What will we glue-! I mean do! –blushes at mistake-

-figure in dark cloak pops out of nowhere and lands on the ground laughing madly-

Murtagh: Teeheeheeheeheehee!!!

Eragon: Who are you and why are you laughing?

Murtagh: My name is Murtagh and I am laughing because your dragon reminds me of that one I watched when I was three years old.

Eragon: You mean "Barney"?

Murtagh: Yeah….

Saphira: _Take that back!_

Eragon: Why in the world do you want to help us?

Murtagh: Wouldn't you like to know? –gives an evil vampire grin-

Director: -gives a kill signal to Murtagh with an withering glare-

Murtagh: I mean..uh..my parents were..uh…killed by some of the King's men and stuff when I was little..yeah…that's it…..

Eragon: Okay! Well I guess I'll trust you even though I really shouldn't trust strangers, especially if they haven't proved their trust. But we wouldn't have that problem if they had left the scene where the Ra'zac attacked me in the script……

Murtagh: Uuhhhh……I'll show you the way to the Varden!

Eragon: How do YOU know how to get there?

Murtagh: Beats me….it's in the script…….

Director: CUT! CUT! CUT!

SCENE 13: TAKE 3

Eragon: Jump in Murty! The water looks great…especially considering we will get decapitated by urgals if we don't…..-smiles innocently-

Murtagh: Fine! –jumps in nervously- I Just remembered! I don't know how to swim!!!

Eragon: Teehee! Murtagh doesn't know how to swim! Murtagh doesn't know how to swim! -sings it over and over-

-both jump in the waterfall and end up on the other side and are met by spears-

Eragon: How come the baldy waldy twins aren't here to probe my mind?

Murtagh: Well there was-

Eragon: Let me guess, the script…-sighs-

Ajihad: Who are you and why did you bring all those urgals on our hideout?

Eragon: Well, first Arya got poisoned so we had to get her help and then Brom got killed and then my dragon almost killed that creepy dude in the black cloak back there, who can't swim very well at all by the way and the-

Ajihad: Did you say dragon? Are YOU a rider?

Eragon: Yees….

Ajihad: Then call on your dragon.

Eragon: SAPHIRA!

Director: Cut! Your supposed to call her in your mind, not literally scream out!

Eragon: Oh. _Saphira! Bring Arya in!_

-flies in with Arya on her back-

Ajihad:….Wait…who did you say that was -points at Murtagh-

Eragon:…..uh…..a bad swimmer..-confused-

Ajihad: Ack! That's the son of Morzan!

Eragon: Really?...Wait! Who is Morzan again?

All: Eragon! You are such an idiot!

Eragon:….

Murtagh: Where do I paint my scar again?

Director: On your side.

Murtagh: I thought it was supposed to be on my back?

Director: We don't want any fangirls fainting.

Murtagh: Oooh…That makes sense…I guess…-paints fake scar real quick-…..Look! This is all my father ever gave me…….and…….he was not nice….and..uh…yeah….

Ajihad: I have decided that even though I am really just and fair in the book, I will lock you up in a wooden cage and give you no justice whatsoever……because….it's in my script! –orders guards away-

Eragon: Well that's not nice…

Ajihad: Why were you here again?

Eragon: We've come to join you!

Ajihad: Very well. Even though I've just met you and the script has shortened our battle so much that it will take place on the same day you arrive where as in the book it took a week or two…..whatever!

Director: I just might have to edit this…..

SCENE 17: TAKE 1

Murtagh: Let me out of here! I'm bored to death!!

-an urgal crashes through the door breaking it-

Murtagh: Whoo hoo! I'm free!!

………..

Eragon: Whoa……your lips are all icky…

Durza: Are not!

Eragon: Are so! You need chapstick…..

Durza: Argh…prepare to die!

Eragon: Wait! Aren't we supposed to be in the dwarf keep fighting…

Durza: Look, we've been over this…the script says that we have to be on flying creatures…..

Eragon: Oh….-jumps off Saphira and slams sword into Durza's heart-

Durza: Ah-choo! –sneezes-…uh…I mean…no! Curse you rider!

Eragon: I was excpecting more from a creepy faced creep! –giggles-

Durza: -pretends to die-

Director:…..-sighs-…cut!..yet again…

SCENE 20: TAKE 1

Arya: Farewell Shadeslayer!

Eragon: I thought I was supposed to come with you to train with the elves?

Arya: Well yeah…but nothing actually says I'm an elf…

Eragon: I'll say! You don't even have pointy ears!

Arya:…Well…uh…you're a great hero…and good job…and I'll see ya again..unless Galby tears you piece by piece….

Eragon: Thank you. Your support means the world!

Arya: What support?

Eragon: -confused-

SCENE 22: TAKE 2

Galby: At last! I'm finally in a scene! How come this movie wasn't called "Galbatorix"? That sounds better than "Eragon"….

Director: Just say the line…

Galby: Oh yeah….-stomps over to the map on the wall very angrily and pulls it down. Shruiken pops his head out of the other end-

Shruiken: Howdy Galby! Do you fancy a game of chess?

Galby: Not today Shruiken. Just give an evil smile and show those freshly flossed teeth to the viewers!

Shruiken: -Gives evil roar showing teeth-

Director: CUT! Okay, I will definitly have to edit this. But when I do I'm sure that the movie will be amazingly awesome and everyone will love it. Right?

Eragon: This is a movie?

Murtagh: ERAGON!!!!!

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A/N- Well that was long…….. PUSH THE NICE LITTLE REVIEW BUTTON BELOW!!!


	10. Family Reunion! Run for your life

Eragon: MUUUUURRTTTAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!

Murtagh walks in angrily.

Eragon: Ahem! –clears throat-

Murtagh: -rolls eyes- You called?

Eragon: As a matter o' fact, I did!

Murtagh: -mutters- Oh..splendid…

Eragon: Well what I wanted to tell ya is that I think….well….I think…

Narrator: Think?!? Haha!! That's a good one! As if Eragon can _**actually think**_!! You're killing me!

Murtagh: Hey, stick to the script!

Narrator: My lines are SO boring though…

Murtagh: Get over it! Anyway, as I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted.. Think what?!?

Eragon: That we should have a like get together, ya know, for like relatives…

Murtagh: You mean a family reunion?

Eragon: Exactly dude! We can invite everyone's relatives! It'll be the bomb!

Murtagh: Uh…Eragon, maybe you should stay away from Katrina… She's making a bad influence on your grammer.

Eragon: Dude, don't harsh my ego!

Murtagh: Um…well, okay, I'll get the family reunion thing together…and uh..maybe you should lay down on the caffeine and teen talk.

Eragon: Gotcha!

Murtagh: -walks off muttering-….idiot….dipstick……psycho…..

Narrator: Aaaw…poor baby Murty…

Murtagh: AAAHH!! Go away! Nobody likes you!

Narrator: I resent that! I like me an awful lot! –holds up a handheld mirror and smiles-

Murtagh: Dweeb…

Narrator: Ha! You're talking like your dipstick brother now.

Murtagh: NOOOOO!!!!!!

Galby: -opens a letter- Oooh! An invitation from the Varden to a family reunion! How fun!

Shruiken: Are you forgetting that you just declared war on them?

Galby: Oh yeah….. Well, they DID send me this nice friendly lemon scented letter so it would be rude to not go. I'm sure they've forgotten all about the biggest war of the centuary!

Shruiken: -sighs- Of course they have….dummy…

Galby: Now please excuse me Tookin, but I have to pick out a tuxedo and call my relatives! –walks off whistling-

Shruiken: It's Shruiken actually!!!

Eragon: Hello Mrs. Arya!

Islandzi: You've met me before and my name is Queen Islandzi! The mighty and beautiful queen of the legendary elves, who-

Eragon: -falls asleep and starts snoring-

Islandzi: Well I never! –stomps off-

Eragon: -opens eyes- Wha? Uh…er…mm…. Where did Mrs. Arya go? –yawns- Golly! She IS exactly like Arya, attitude and all!

Roran and a group of people walk up to Eragon.

Roran: Hi Eragon! Where did the Queen go?

Eragon: Beats me. I never even had a chance to sing her my special future mother-in-law song!

Roran: That's..uh..too bad…

Eragon: I'll say!

Roran: Meet Granny Butterfingers!

Eragon: Who?

Roran: Galby's grandmother of course!

Eragon: Oh. Hiya Mrs. Galby!

Granny: Hello! Would you like a cookie?

Eragon: Boy would I!

Narrator: And so the loving and freakishly nice grandmother of Galbatorix ate chocolate chip cookies with everyone and showed them pictures of Galby as a baby. –starts laughing uncontrollably-

Granny:…and here is a picture of Winky in his cute little neon orange footie pajama's and with his favorite polka dot blanket and-

Eragon: Winky?

Granny: Yes, we nicknamed my little baby grandson winky.

Eragon: Did he wink a lot?

Granny: Nope, never.

Eragon: That makes perfect sense then! His Galby his real name?

Granny: No, it's actually Leonard.

Eragon: Hehehehehe…

Crowd of People: Hahahahahahaha!!

Galby comes running up with his arms in the air.

Galby: STOOOOP!

Granny: Is something wrong pumpkin?

Galby: Stop showing them embarrassing pictures of me, telling them my real name, and calling me pumpkin in public!

Granny: I'm so sorry pookie face. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your little friends.

Murtagh: Yeah pookie face. She didn't mean to! –giggles-

Galby: -turns bright red-

Eragon: Hey look! It's Durza's parents!!

Murtagh: Didn't you kill him?

Eragon: Dude, I like don't know! He's here, so like maybe he like lived, like yeah!

Durza: -sighs- Remind me again why I have to be here?

Galby: Because, if I'm going to embarrassed in front of everyone in Alagaesia…then so are YOU!

Durza: -sighs again- Fine… These are my..uh…dearly special parents to me…their names are..uh…Mr. and Mrs……uh…Goody….and they..uh….say hi….uh..yeah

Mrs. Goody: Honey! You simply shouldn't say 'uh' so many times! Gentlemen should have good grammer!

Murtagh: Gentlemen?!?!?

Mr. Goody: Yes, and stand up straight! There will be no slouching in our family!

Durza: -stands up straighter- Yes Sir.

Eragon: Sir?

Murtagh and Eragon: HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

Durza: Hey! Be quiet if you want to live you two!

Murtagh: Act like a _**gentleman**_ Durza!

Eragon: Yeah!

Durza: Death to you all!!!

Mrs. Goody: Alvin! I can't believe you just said that to those sweet little boys! I think somebody needs a time-out!

Eragon: Alvin?

Murtagh: Time-out?

Mr. Goody: Don't be so soft on him Gerda! He needs a good spanking, that's what he needs!

Durza: No! Please! I'll be good, honest!

Eragon and Murtagh: Spanking?!?

Murtagh: Do it!

Eragon: Yeah, he needs to learn his lesson!

Mr. and Mrs. Goody walk out dragging Durza with them.

Galby: And to think I thought MY granny was embarrassing….

Katrina: -skips up- Has anyone like seen my dad like anywhere near like here?

All: No.

Katrina: Aw man… DAAADDY!!!

Sloan rushes over.

Sloan: Yes my little buttercup?

Katrina: Don't be so silly daddy! I have to introduce you to everyone! –smiles happily-

Eragon: Ooh! Ooh! I know him!!! I know him!!! –waves hands-

Roran: Me too! Me too! –jumps up and down-

Katrina: Duh, you kinda live in the same village as me. So like anyways, this is like my like retro dad who like is kinda a jerk like sometimes to Eragon and other dipsticks of similar interests. Say hi daddy!

Sloan: Hi.

Katrina: Say it nicer than that!

Sloan: Hi.

Katrina: Come on! You can do it! Just imagine that we're in the middle of the newest and hottest store in the Alagaesian market! It works every time!

Sloan: -tries to imagine- AAAAAAHHH!!! THE HORROR!!! HIIII!!!!!!

Katrina: See? I told ya it worked! –winks- Now say hi back everyone!

Eragon: Hi Mr. Katrina!

Roran: Howdy!

Arya & Nasuada: Hiya!

Galby: Yo!

Granny: Hello sweetie!

Murtagh: Oh….whatever….

Katrina: Muuraaagh! That like wasn't very friendly dude!

Murtagh: Whatever.

Katrina: -gasps- I like can't believe your control freak ego!

Roran: How dare you upset my sweet heart!

Murtagh: Whatever.

All: -gasps-

Katrina: Well if you like have to act like that then where's YOUR relatives???

All: Yeah!

Murtagh: Over there! –points-

Katrina: You like mean that like crazy foreign queen is like YOUR mother?

Murtagh: Uh…well…yeah….I think…

All: Hahahahaha!

Eragon: Oh goody gumdrops! Mommy's here with caffeinated peanut butter cookies!!!!

Murtagh: -mutters to self- I was just mixed up at the hospital…that's all…..

Eragon: Then why do you look like me and mommy?

Murtagh: Coincidence.

Eragon: Suuuuure…..

Selena/Princess Vanilla hops(yes, _**HOPS**_) over to the crowd

Selena: Thank ya sooooo much for inviting me! Anyone want some "special" cookies…that just happen to be loaded with sugar, sweets, and TONS of caffeine?

Roran: Milk?

Selena: You betcha!

Katrina: Napkins?

Selena: Uh huh!

Eragon: Peanut Butter?

Selena: Duh!

All(except Murty): Yay!!! Party time!! WHOO HOO!!!

Selena: What's wrong Murty? Are you allergic to peanuts?

Murtagh: No, I'm allergic to idiots.

Selena: Oh Murty! Don't be so kind!

Murtagh: Idiot isn't a compliment…

Selena: You don't say!

Murtagh: -sighs- Pass me one of those cookies. I guess if ya can't beat'em, might as well join'em!

A/N-Dude, that was seven pages of stupidity… I hope ya'll are happy!!! Free cookies to the NICE AND POLITE people who review! Death to all lurkers!!! (that means YOU Jillian :O)


	11. What's the Deal with MarySue?

A/N- Yes, I'm back:D I haven't updated this so long because I currently have gained several new obsessions over the last few months :D :D. This story seems rather successful in my opinion. Currently almost 3000 hits...not bad for a parody –smiles happily-

Anyways, to celebrate the first chapter of the new year, I will give you an EXTRA SPECIAL chapter, discussing an extremely controversial issue. This will be narrated by my good ol' invisible friend Bob...

Disclaimer: Despite what you think, I'm not CP...Who just laughed? WHO WAS LAUGHING??!!??

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Me: Okay, go for it Bob!

Bob: What do I have to do again?

Me: A reader will ask you a question and you have to get one of the Alagaesian characters to answer it...

Bob: Fine, as long as this isn't like reality TV...

Me: -shifts eyes- umm...no, not at all...-crosses fingers-

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[Eragon, Murtagh, and Galbatorix all sit at a square table in front of a video camera.

Bob: Ello peoplez!! This is the one and only Bob here!!

Murtagh: It's probably a good thing there's only one of you...

Eragon: What about that clone, Murtagh?

Murtagh: Shuddap Eri!!! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT A SECRET!!!

Bob: ...-steps back-

Murtagh: No! Come back! Um...Eragon was just JOKING...haha –laughs nervously-

Bob: Okay... Well, as said before –glances at the table-, here is Bob, aka myself, with three of our voluntary speakers who will be interviewed.

Galbatorix: Can we get going? I have a S.T.U.P.I.D meeting coming up...()

Bob: Right you are! –opens a letter- Let's see, our first letter says...

Dear Alagaesian citizens(hi Murtagh!),

I was recently browsing fanfiction and don't quite understand the whole Mary-Sue thing. What's the deal? Can a story have a guy Mary-Sue??And...where did the "Mary-Sue" idea even come from?

From,

Clueless Reader, 1134000 Mars City

Bob: Well, that IS a VERY good question Clueless(You're parents must have blanked out when they named you)... I also notice you are from Mars City. I have a cousin on Mars. He says the climate is rather warm there an- oops, sorry! I get off subject sometimes...

Bob: Let's separately ask each of our contestants the question in a completely soundproof room-

Murtagh: It's a closet...

Bob: I'm on a budget here buddy. Do you know how much soundproof rooms cost these days?? A LOT!!!! And the last time I checked, invisible friends don't get paid...well, we get "invisible" money...but the bank refuses to exchange that for some odd reason...

Murtagh: Gee, I wonder why... –rolls eyes-

Bob: Okay, Mr. Smarty Pants! If you think you're Einstein... Why don't you come first?!?

Murtagh:...sure, why not?

[They both walk into closet and turn on a tacky lightbulb.

Bob: Sooo, Murtagh Morzanson. Can you please tell us what a "Mary Sue" is exactly?

Murtagh: That's an easy one... A "M.S" is a character written into a story by a hormone driven teenage girl. The character is pretty much the girl herself. The character has a "princess" type name, such as "Jade Leaf", "Aurora", "Elainia", etc, etc... The "princess" girl has beauty beyond compare and yet, can still defeat dozens of soldiers in battle without breaking a sweat...or a nail. The M.S gets the most handsome guy in the book to fall in love with her, which usually seems to be Eragon for some reason –ponders thoughtfully-

Bob: Ahem, moving on...

Murtagh: Overall, the gorgeous "princess" warrior without flaws reveals the author in her perfect form... Aka, the author wishes she could be like that... I've got news for you ladies.. IN YOUR DREAMS!!! Ha!

Bob: Well Murtagh...that was very..interesting...umm...you can go now...

Murtagh: Hey, not so fast shortstuff! You promised me fifty bucks if I answered a loser nerd's question?

Bob: I sent it through the mail.

Murtagh: -walks off muttering angrily- ...yeah...right...

Bob: Next up! Galby!!!

Galby: -walks in- That's Galby the Great to you!

Bob: Of course. So Dumbo, since you're here, let's get to the question burning in everyone's minds. Is it true that you have a "secret" daughter?

Galby:...no...I think I would kinda know if I did, thank you very much! I am still a bachelor, strongly against raising snot head children. I mean, what if I had a child that ended up exactly like Eragon? –shudders at the thought-

Bob: Can you explain to us why exactly a teenage girl might be prevailed to write herself into a story as your daughter?

Galby: No, I don't know. I'm a heartless conquerer who DOESN'T have a daughter..or any child for that matter. However, if so many naïve and corruptible teenagers are so desperate to be related to me, they could have just joined up with my super evil Empire. We are currently now employing...

XXXCOMMERCIALXXXXXXXXX

Shade: Hello, future Empire employers!! Do you have what it takes to be a part of the Empire? well, you don't if you ask me..but I have to recruit minions somehow..

Galby: Ahem, -glares at Durza- We have excellent dental insurance, and if Durza doesn't kill you in an angry mood swing you'll get to retire on government taxes!

Shade: Ah, yes, quite a bonus, King Galbatorix –winks at camera-

Galby: Please note; this offer is void for elves, relatives of Eragon(excusing Murtagh), foreign dictators, invisible friends, caffeine addicts, one footed kangaroos, blondes, sarcastic reviewers, and Christopher Paoilini...

Shade: The Empire takes no responsibility if you die mysteriously, have a panic attack during knife training, or end up being used as the piñata for staff parties...

Galby: So what are you waiting for?

Both: Apply to the Empire today!!!

XXXXXXXENDOFCOMMERCIALXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Galby: Cool, huh? I booked it for prime time...

Bob: What do you have against invisible friends? gee...GET OUT!!!

Galby: Well fine then...-stomps out-

Eragon: -Skips in and sits down- ...Nice closet Bill!!

Bob: It's Bob actually... So...Eragon, how's about I give you the easy question –smirks- Is there such thing as a guy Mary-Sue?

Eragon: Ooh! That is easy! Well, actually, it isn't called a "Mary-Sue" if it stars a guy. It's called a "Terry-Lou". These stories are written, and rarely written at that, by a wannabe macho nerd. The character is what the author dreams about becoming. And basically it's a perfect, flawless, guy who pops out of nowhere, charms the ladies, steals Arya from me, scares Galby, becomes the next big fad, and is the coolest dragon rider ever. I personally find these stories insulting, as they take away my fame. –sticks out tongue-

Bob: uh huh... So, um, have YOU ever written any stories like that Eragon???

Eragon:...no...-shifts nervously-

SUBMITTED 2 DAYS BEFORE AT FANFICTION..

Title: The Superdude of Alagaesia(Bob's translation: Eragon if he was cool...)

Written by: Nogare, NogardRedir(Bobs's translation: spelled backwards: Eragon, DragonRider)

Summary: Galbatorix begs for mercy when the new dude comes to town! Why, he is none other than, Superdude, the newest and coolest dragon rider! With his dashing good looks and fearless bravery, Supedude totally ROX!!! pairings- SuperdudeXArya (Bob's Translation: Eragon, without his cowardly, stupid, and Arya repelling personality)

Warning: Story will contain an emotional breakdown from Murtagh, due to jealousy of Superdude's coolness.(Bob's Translation: I'm jealous of Murtagh, so I will write one of my own emotional breakdowns and put HIS name on it)

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Eragon: Wh-where did you find that???

Bob: I use the internet too ya know...-shrugs-

Eragon: IT'S NOT TRUE!!! I didn't write a Terry-Lou!!! –runs out of the closet-

Bob: Huh...pressure must've gotten to him...well, we can't all be stars... And to answer your last question Clueless(do kids at school make fun of you're name?), the origins of the first Mary-Sue are currently unknown. But if you cue in for the next show, then you might luck out into hearing the latest report for it.

Bob: May your swords stay sharp and your peanut butter caffeinated!

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A/N-Hmmm...did I go TOO far with that? I get a little carried away sometimes :D just HAD to bash Mary-Sue's!! I DESPISE them!!! Honestly, eighty percent of the stories on fanfic are M.S's...gee...

Review! Review! Review! Constructive(ha, as if I want this to be constructive) and pointless reviews please!!! Flamers will get flamed... seriously though, if you hate my story that much...why r u reading it??

If you want to ask the characters a question PM me a letter(fictional of course :D), or attach it to your review...

The more reviews I receive, the more inspired to write I get:)


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